--- title: "Moving Forward After an Alzheimer's Diagnosis ✦ Goldwater Droit" meta: "og:description": "Practical guidance for families navigating the legal and emotional challenges of an Alzheimer's diagnosis, from mourning to care options and legal strategy." "og:title": "Moving Forward After an Alzheimer's Diagnosis" description: "Practical guidance for families navigating the legal and emotional challenges of an Alzheimer's diagnosis, from mourning to care options and legal strategy." --- ![bruno aguirre uLMEcr1O 1I unsplash](https://goldwaterdroit.com/_vercel/image?url=%2F_content-assets%2Fblog%2F2024%2F08%2Fromano-moving-forward-after-an-alzheimers-diagnosis%2Fimages%2Fbruno-aguirre-uLMEcr1O-1I-unsplash.jpg&w=1536&q=80) [News & Insights](https://goldwaterdroit.com/en/news-insights) # Romano: Moving Forward After an Alzheimer's Diagnosis 26 August 2024 5 min read [Family Law](https://goldwaterdroit.com/en/news-insights?topic=family-law) [Elder Law & Protection](https://goldwaterdroit.com/en/news-insights?topic=elder-law-protection) [Articles & Analysis](https://goldwaterdroit.com/en/news-insights?category=articles-analysis) As attorneys, we often guide families through the legal process of declaring someone incapacitated due to forms of cognitive decline, such as Alzheimer's disease. It's a difficult time for everyone involved, filled with emotional turbulence, challenging decisions, and even family conflicts that can end up in court. Each family member may have a different vision of what is best for their loved one and occasionally ulterior motives like financial considerations can detract from a frank discussion about the individual's best interests. It is crucial for clients who genuinely desire the best outcome for their incapacitated loved one to think clearly in order to help us develop the best possible strategies for managing this complex process. #### **Save Time to Mourn** A diagnosis of a degenerative disease is extremely difficult to come to terms with, for the patient and their loved ones; hopes of travelling the world, seeing grandchildren grow, or finding a dream home together can fall apart rapidly with a diagnosis of Alzheimer's disease, a degenerative form of dementia linked to memory loss. It's important to take the time to mourn the loss of a partnership, friendship or lifestyle that can never be the same. Allow yourself to grieve for what could have been, without placing blame on anyone since the disease cannot yet be prevented. Hold onto those wonderful memories, but try to not let them influence the challenging legal steps that have to be taken to ensure the patient's stability. One way to hasten this process is to create a ritual of letting go, whether it is secular or religious. Consider organizing a small ceremony with your immediate family. Spend an evening reminiscing about all the wonderful memories you have of your loved one. Celebrate the good times and acknowledge what you had hoped for the future. Allow yourselves to cry and process these emotions, if needed with the help of a mental health professional — caregivers face an important burden and need help. Symbolic acts or rituals appropriate to your own family and culture can help us let go of the past and move onto the next chapter. #### **Embrace Your New Path** Once some mourning or acknowledgement of the impending change is complete, what remains are the spectrum of possibilities to manage a loved one's disease. There are many avenues for an attorney to explore. Consider both your loved one's needs and your own, along with those of any children or other family members involved. This involves both objective analysis and listening to your gut instincts. When evaluating your options, it's crucial to remember that your instincts might still be framed within the ideal lifestyle you once envisioned. If this original dream is still influencing legal decisions, you need to return to mourning and put it to rest. This process usually takes time but, sometimes, pressing decisions must be accelerated, which is why self-care and reflection well in advance of meeting a lawyer are advisable. #### **Recognizing the Changes** With a diagnosis of a degenerative brain disease like Alzheimer's, your loved one's mind, an essential part of their body, gradually stops functioning properly. The strong, beautiful, capable and dependable person you once knew may no longer exist in the same way. As David M. Eagleman, neuroscience professor at Stanford University, wrote in his book, [_Sum: 40 Tales from the Afterlives_](https://www.amazon.ca/Sum-Tales-Afterlives-David-Eagleman/dp/0143172158): "There are three deaths. The first is when the body ceases to function. The second is when the body is consigned to the grave. The third is that moment, sometime in the future, when your name is spoken for the last time." It's important to recognize that advanced Alzheimer's symptoms could, as Eagleman argues, be considered a "first death," and you must allow yourself to mourn a past version of your loved one. Once you begin formal interventions to change your loved one's living situation, you can focus on making the remaining time with them as wonderful, safe, and enriching as possible. Clarity about the next steps in the process will help you evaluate matters with a more unencumbered vision and make decisions that are in the best interest of everyone involved. #### **Exploring Care Options** Qualified lawyers can provide advice for clients and explore various care options. These might include: - **Living at Home with Family Assistance**: This scenario relies entirely on family members providing care. It can be emotionally fulfilling but also demanding, and requires significant commitments in time and money. - **Living at Home with 24-Hour Professional Care**: Hiring professional caregivers ensures continuous care but comes at an even higher financial cost. It's crucial to evaluate whether this option is sustainable long-term. - **Part-Time Home Assistance**: Professional caregivers provide support for a few hours each day. This can relieve family members while ensuring your loved one receives necessary care and is never left alone. - **Assisted Living Residence**: These facilities offer a community setting with various levels of assistance available. It's essential to evaluate the quality of care, community atmosphere, and costs. - **Full-Care Residence**: Nursing homes or full-care facilities provide intensive support and medical care. This option may be necessary as the disease progresses. Each avenue has its advantages and disadvantages, and these need to be carefully evaluated in a level-headed manner, especially if the choices are contested and risk being litigated. This is why we need our clients to be emotionally prepared to be fully-involved members of the legal strategy team. By turning the page and embracing the next chapter with compassion and clear-headedness, our clients can help us to help them navigate this difficult journey more effectively, and with the least amount of heartache possible under the circumstances. _Me Daniel Romano is an associate with Goldwater, Dubé where he handles family law, personal injury, privacy, elder law, dignity and defamation matters._ [_dr@goldwaterdroit.com_](https://goldwaterdroit.com/mailto:dr@goldwaterdroit.com) _Photo: Bruno Aguirre // Unsplash_ [**Previous Post**Me Abud spotlights family law at UdeS](https://goldwaterdroit.com/en/news-insights/2024/08/me-abud-spotlights-family-law-at-udes) [**Next Post **Update on Surrogacy Laws in Quebec](https://goldwaterdroit.com/en/news-insights/2025/02/quebec-surrogacy-law-update-bill-12)